~ Picture It & Write! - Water's Edge

Water's Edge

(A short story)

Today would have been her twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Yolanda Dean never expected to celebrate it by herself. They had made plans now that both kids were graduated and in college to travel a little. They, she and her husband, Lonnie, loved sunsets over water. They had traveled all over the west side of the state of Michigan taking pictures of the sunsets, entire walls showcased the beauty of Lake Michigan. It had all started with their honeymoon in Holland, Michigan.

Now, she sat here on the edge of the Pacific Ocean looking at the most vibrant colors they'd seen this year. But Lonnie's chair was empty.  She wouldn't cry. It had only been a month since his passing. It was so sudden, so unexpected. The kids told her to come and not let the tickets go to waste. 

Ermilia's ~Picture it & Write! Click the picture to learn more.

Her mother was sitting back in the hotel. Yolanda asked her to let her do this alone. Standing at the water's edge, she held his urn tightly. It was time to release his ashes per his request to be scattered over water during a beautiful sunset. Tears flowed down her lined checks, lines that weren't there a month ago. 

"Goodbye, my love!" Yolanda tried to let go. She cried harder. "Sorry, my love! You're coming home with me. I'll let you go over our beloved lake which isn't this far away from me." Hugging the urn sitting down in her borrowed beach chair, she picked up her bottle of iced cappuccino and drained it. Resting the bottle on her knee, the sunset magnified. She felt God and Lonnie smiling down at her.

Advice

Yesterday at our church's small group class, a interesting question was asked. What advice would you give to the soon-to-be married or the newly married?

I was amazed at the response. They didn't feel that it was good idea to tell the truth. Marriage is hard and is filled with a lot of hard work. (I struggle with this attitude - topic for another time. Lying to the next generation maybe why we have a generation gap!)

Here is the advice I wished I had received. Stop judging everything your spouse does by your family's "we've always done things this way." Just because we've done it this way doesn't make it the only way for something to be done right.

Here is an example from very early in my marriage. Where does mustard go when it's put away? His mother put it in the cabinet. My mother always refrigerated ours. Who was right?

This could be a big conflict. Could you image the fights over the condiment of mustard? Unfortunately, it is things like this that are the beginning of a lot of martial troubles. No, not mustard but little petty things.

The label on the mustard bottle does not claim that it needs refrigeration. We put the mustard on the cabinet shelf. Then I had to confess that I prefer my mustard cold. Luckily, he didn't have a preference. Now, you will find the mustard in our refrigerator.  

It seems like a little thing but communication is really the key. We need to express our wants, needs, and preferences but we need to listen to their wants, needs, and preferences and that's when compromise is necessary. Beware the need to control everything around us. It will make us miserable.

Blessings,

Leann Holland

V-Blog

On the world's most celebrated day of love, as a writer and poet, I should feel inspired, right?
Well, I did create an unique work of art embedded with a small poem for my husband. Do I share?

I want to and yet . . .  It feels tacky, to create something for one person then make him share it with the world. (okay, maybe all twenty five followers of the this blog or all one hundred of my facebook family and friends.) But still it's suppose to be an intimate moment.

Is it different than talking plans over with your girlfriends or buying cards and sharing? The challenges of living in a digital age are like walking a tight rope high above the street. But we can't climb down or put the genie back into the bottle. She's here to stay!

Happy Valentine's Day,

Leann Holland

P.S. I decided to post my husband's card onto his facebook page.

My Son-In-Law Is Older Than I Am!

Fifty percent of all marriages will fail. This is one of the biggest decisions we will ever make. It effects every facet of our lives and reaches to the depths of our souls.

A friend recently became a mother-in-law against her wishes and another will be by the end of year. The two women are in different seasons with their children. One has a distant, remote relationship. The other is over involved in the relationship, pretending to support the couple. Neither are happy. Which right? Which will work? I don't know.

Where is that magic bullet? (I know I set it down somewhere. Probably beside the perfect weight magic bullet.) The bullet that guarantees the newlyweds success. The one that guarantees all the in-law (mothers, fathers, daughter, son) are happy.

In the above situations, there are legitimate concerns. One relationship is dealing with alcoholism and abuse in the past. In the second situation, I keep hearing my friend's cry, "My son-in-law is older than I am!"

There's just got to be a story in there somewhere.

Leann Holland

Anniversaries

Anniversaries are an important marker of time. We can have anniversaries for all kinds of events in our lives. Some are good and some are bad or painful. This week, my husband and I will celebrate a happy event in our lives, 19 years of marriage.

We had several years where our marriage was in danger of not surviving. Ten years ago, we started to rebuild our marriage. Young children, at least for us, put a great strain on our relationship. I started and completed three pregnancies in less than five years. We love our kids and are very proud of them. We wouldn't change anything. We learned a lot about ourselves and each other during those difficult years.

Work, a word no one really wants to hear about marriage and love. It's supposed to be like movies and books, a fairy tale. Every day filled with flowers and romance not budgets, chores and work. Marriage is both romance and work. Finding the balance will allow marriages to flourish. Different seasons in life demand ratios to change. Don't take your marriage or mate for granted. Chins up! Keep working!

Happy Anniversary, Honey!!!!